With our new design of the doll rolling out, Some of you might be wondering:
“But Mighty Cockblock! How will I be able to tell which version of Cockblock Doll I have?”
Well I have made this handy guide to show you the rundown:
To start, Take your Cockblock doll and flip it upside down. Then put your face in its butt. Reallyyyy close. After some time you will realize you look like a total idiot, but you will also realize that there is a little white tag in the back that features the logo of our esteemed management company Stitchmind Artworks. These tags will represent the age and type of Cockblock you have.
Well then what kind of Stitchmind tag do you see?
I have a long ribbon like tag and the font is painted on.
Well now! if you have this tag you have yourself a rare first edition Cockblock! Chances are if you have one of these you were into our Cockblocks years ago way back in the day when The Stitch and I were but small peddlers, selling our cocky magics like crude snake-oil salesmen before our online blog was erected.
Maybe you got it from us from some doofy convention or at a dark bar while drunk one night or maybe you woke up one day and found it in your bed like a an old horse head left by a friend. Either way stand proud because you are the pioneer of supporting Cockblock Magic and that entitles you to be awesome. Congrats trendsetter!
My tag is a short and nubby loop with a printed logo:
Well these will probably be more common then the fists edition tags. What you got there is a bonafide classic Cockblock. These guys were made a few years after our first editions and make up the backbone of our Cockblock foundation (construction joke, we sometimes build little forts with them).
If you have one of these chances are you have been into Cockblock for a little while now and you’ve probably heard the joke: “It would be funny if I threw this thing at (name of your annoying friend)’s head next time I see them” a couple times now. You may even have been into Cockblock before the Blog as well. Don’t worry though, your doll’s Cockblock magics are still blazing strong.
My Tag is a square loop and have lots of writing on the back and front:
Well you can probably tell just by looking at it but you have yourself a brand new Modern Cockblock. Think of it as the new car of the Cockblock Doll kingdom sleek, sexy, and aerodynamic (probably not that last one…at all). As We stated we only recently started making these so they will be uncommon now but we will be making more later on. Just remember your Cockblock is top of the line just like you! Go you.
Uh… I don’t have any tag:
WHAT! There’s no tag?! How can this be? Well I hate to inform you buddy but you bought an imposter! A fake, a dud, a lemon, and a hoax all rolled into one. Where could such an abomination come from? Did you visit China and get some sort of “Cuckbluck” bootleg? Or maybe your crafty friend made you a bogus one from spare quilting parts. Well friend I hate to inform you but a fake Cockblock is not only of questionable Quality, it will also have absolutely NO Cockblock Magic powers in it at all. Making them useless.
I would hide it from sight (unless your shameful friend actually did make it with you then you should keep it around so you don’t hurt their feelings) and just watch out to make sure authentic Cockblock users don’t catch you and ridicule you for your shameful gimpy clone.
Well there you have it. I hope we have shed some light on the mysterious cockblock identification procedure and remember whatever type you have, We here as always thank you for supporting and loving Cockblock!