Cockblock Magic isn’t the only kind of magic in our decadent world, and lucky for me I get to go to one of the most magical places of all! Disney land!
Disneyland is a theme park built from the outcome of giving a ton of money to some crazy guy who really like fairies and talking animals. I forgot the guy’s name. I think it was something like Watts Doosey. But I could be wrong.
Disneyland is also famous because its one of the cleanest theme parks of all time. How do they keep the place so tidy and vermin-free? With magic of course! Or maybe they has some sort of secret animal barracks where they train stray cats to hunt and kill all the pests in the park… but no that would be silly.
Upon entering this magical realm, The first thing you see are tons of humans. I know these humans are high class top the the line specimens because I saw how much the admission price was.
There are also like a bazillion children and babies who get to be pushed around in little wheeled hammocks called strollers. They truly are the most privileged of us all.
This is a statue of the guy I was talking about. I assume the short imp with the big ears was the demon servant he summoned to help him amass the riches to build a cartoon wonderland.
I decided to frolic and play around in the statue garden. Here I learned of the park;s many denizens. This one is the Don Duck the short tempered boss of Disneyland’s crime syndicate.
This is the paranoid owl, who questioned the authenticity of my bird qualifications.
These two are called Chips and Dips. They are happy because they are one of the rare few characters who have earned the right to run around completely naked. (pants are optional here, but shirts are usually required for service).
What have we here? And who might these two star-crossed lovers be? Sorry but my instincts are too strong I cannot let this happen…
Mind if I cut in?… Much better.
A theme park isn’t complete without rides. So I decided to try one of their famous ones. This one is a boat ride through a happy fortress that will teach you the wonders of geography.
Iim on a boat! This looks inviting. I hope the inside is not filled with evil puppets or anything overly redundant…
What are the odds? Okay maybe that ride wasn’t best for me. Better move on.
The next area I visited was this place called Toon Town, said to be the town that houses the park’s many gods.
Everything here is overly round. As a fan of 90 degree angles I find this offensive.
They leave their valuables just lying around on the street, they must have low crime here.
This must be where I’M supposed to go.
I was led to a small enclave where I was invited to visit the home of the Mickeys Mouse, The lord of all cartoons.
For a mouse house this place was pretty lavish..
The mouse’s main food source are apparently basketball-sized potatoes. Just like real mice.
Haha lookit these dumb birds…
Where there you have it I was greeted by the King we exchanged many a witty banter (or silence). Thank you for having me in your home Micks Mouse. Even though I got to meet someone famouse the fun is still pouring on. I have much more park to explore so stay tuned for the next chapter in my Disney Adventure.