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Monthly Archives: November 2012
Find the Hidden Cockblock
11/23/2012 · CATEGORY: Picture Time · BY:

I am hiding somewhere in this picture. Can you find me?!

…Look hard. I am a master of disguise.

Best,
Cockblock
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A Fat Cockblock has appeared.
11/20/2012 · CATEGORY: Announcements · BY:

Hello fools,

It is I, The Stitch. Mighty is out doing stupid adventures for the Thanksgiving holiday, but he sent me back some of Special Cockblocks and asked me to place them in the Shop section to hopefully send them to good homes. He says these Cockblocks are “fed with extra magical CB powers to make them more potent and more amazing”. I just think they are fatter and larger then normal ones.


Here’s a pic of one of them next to a normal doll and a persimmon so you can grasp the size with your primitive shape-deducing mind. More Cockblock means more Love to bask in if you go by Mighty’s stupid ways. Or you can side with me and use your huge Cockblock for its true purpose; Isolating the meek! The choice is up to you but I strongly suggest you take the isolation path…


You can pick them up now in the Store.

Regards,
The Stitch
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Some Halloween 2012 Pics
11/07/2012 · CATEGORY: Cockmunity · BY:

Halloween came around and went and I ran around giving a little blocky blessing to those dressing incognito. Here are a few pics of some of the great costumes I saw.

Best,
Cockblock
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Tip of the Cockblock: IT’S ELECTION SEASON
11/05/2012 · CATEGORY: Tip of the Cockblock · BY:

Good morrow, my cock-a-doodle-dudes and dudettes. You might be wondering what I’ve been doing lately instead of hooking you up with street-savvy lifehacks to help you get on the Superhighway To Success. Well the answer is, “your mom!” Haha, I’ve been having a lot of sexual relations with your mom. I’m very serious about it. She’s a lovely woman.

But let’s slap that shiz on the backburner and talk about a much more pressing matter. You may have heard that the Presidemocatic electionships are right around the corner, and both the lib-o-trons and the conserve-o-bots are clawing at each other’s throats like bloodthirsty badgers fighting over badger issues and matters and such that pertain mostly to badgers. So, your old pal Cockblock is gonna lay down some uber-helpful advice to help you make the right decision for your country.

But what’s most importantly, we’re gonna get you laaaaaid.



STEP 1: PICK A SIDE

Brock Alabama? Matt Rodney? Man, what are you even talking about, dogg?? The real political elite only pick their presidential hopefuls based on one thing and one thing only: the honeys. Are you more into them down-home, boot-scootin’, Budweiser-drinkin’ cowgirls or them well-read, arty-farty, vegan scone-eatin’ progressive-or-whatever liber-bros? “Pick a side and take it in stride,” as my comedic but very honest bumper sticker says.

Pro-tip: If STEP ONE proves confusing we’d recommend flipping a coin or learning the ability to make VERY SIMPLE DECISIONS. We’re not even at step two and you’re already confused? Shoot we’re gonna be here all day.



STEP 2: BLOG ABOUT IT

Look, ladies and lads: anyone who’s anyone (and even a lot of people who aren’t) are on that blog-o-sphere, filling the Internet with their big dumb views about big dumb issues #tellemcockblock #sotrue. A blog is a free and easy way to show some very available sweeties that you’re, like, really passionate about climate control and/or gun control, or maybe Parks and Recreations and Dr. Who gifs. And take it from the CB: nothing says “I’m an opinion that should be respected” like a LOLcat overlaid with your thoughts on planned parenthood. “I can haz teh rite 2 choose??” Damn straight, shawty!



STEP 3: TAKE IT TO THE STREETS

There’s literally (LITERALLY) no better place to meet a like-minded single that’s ready to mingle than on the campaign trail. And nothing (NOTHING) is sexier than strategically placed campaign pins. “Oh, is it cold in here or should you, like, seriously consider voting and oh geez I’m just popping out of this tube-top??” They’re gonna be calling you “Watergate” from all the moistness you’ll be workin’ in that room, grrrrrrl.



STEP 4 (OPTIONAL): VOTE??

I mean, if you’re into that? And you’re not completely drained from all the hot political sex that’s been seeping from your pores leading up to election day. I mean, honestly, if you haven’t had at least one global warming-inspired threesome than you obviously didn’t follow steps one through three and I’m kind of bummed out that I wasted my time on you. Like I don’t have things to do, pshh. Cockblock could’ve been learning Mandarin. Ackin’ like I don’t wanna learn Mandarin or something.

But to the rest of you: enjoy your newfound sexual politiconfidence, and I’ll catch you down the dusty trail, y’all!

PEACE.

Mighty Cockblock
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